By: Zach Fulwood
I don’t know how many times I’ve heard that chivalry is dead and that men have lost the art of how to treat a woman. I mean sure, there are a handful of guys out there who may be living up to the “no good men” standard that seems to flooding the minds of women everywhere but they shouldn’t be ruining it for the rest of us. That aside, when it comes to the concept of chivalry, it’s not so much dead as it is in need of some serious revisions.
When most people think of the perfect picture of chivalry, they think of a man opening the door for a woman, taking the jacket off of his back and giving it to her if she’s cold or laying his jacket over a puddle so she could walk on it instead of walking in the puddle. As far as wanting to open doors for women, I am completely for it although their arms work just the same as mine but I get it. It’s the gentleman thing to do. Things start getting a little tricky when I’m being asked to remove the clothes off my back in the name of chivalry. For instance, if I’m on a date and my date happens to get a bit cold, the chivalry handbook mandates that I take off my jacket and give to her so she could warm up. Now if I’m not using the jacket then she most definitely can have my jacket but if I’m using it to warm myself up, why would I give it up? If it’s 20 degrees outside and she didn’t think enough to dress appropriately, why should I suffer? My only options here are to freeze and be a gentleman or stay warm and look like a jerk. That’s not really fair.
Being a gentleman certainly didn’t help Jack Dawson in Titanic (1997) when he froze to death in the water after letting Rose use the floating board he found for her. Being the lady she was, she never offered him a spot on the board even though there was at least a little room for the both of them to share. But hey, he went out in the name of chivalry right?
There’s also the notion that men should always pay for the first date. I don’t completely disagree with this but i also don’t fully agree with it either. I’ve paid for every first date I’ve ever been on and to some degree, I felt as the man, I should have but going dutch certainly wouldn’t have been a bad option. I always here about the new age woman being so strong and independent so it shouldn’t be too much of a stretch to assume they could independently dig into their purse and pick up the check every so often.
Now none of this is to say that men shouldn’t do nice things for women because they definitely should, especially for the one’s they care about. This is simply to say that just because a man doesn’t always open the door for you or doesn’t always offer to foot the bill, it doesn’t mean he’s not a real man.