Stop Snooping

(Image Courtesy of: noisey.vice.com)

By: Zach Fulwood

You’re watching a movie on the couch with the love of your life and everything seems to be going perfectly. You just shared a romantic takeout dinner from Olive Garden that you didn’t have to pay for and it’s looking like a good night for a potential nightcap. In the middle of the movie, he gets up and goes to the bathroom. Without thinking, he leaves his phone face up on the couch. You think nothing of it until you see it light up with a text message from Keisha from work. You’re curious but not suspicious of what the message could be so you leave it alone. The phone lights up again with Snapchat videos from that same person and now your suspicious. You know his phone is unlocked and you know he can be a bit of a flirt. You can ignore the urge to commit a relationship felony and go snooping through his phone or you can ease your worry by going all up and through his phone. What will you do?

Well, I don’t know what you’re going to do but if you’re dealing with me, don’t look through my phone without asking first. Especially if you want this relationship to last. You can ask for permission and my response won’t change a bit but I’ll certainly respect you more while still turning around and asking you what you need to look through my phone for? No, I’m not hiding anything and no, I’m not purposely trying to make you mad. I just don’t want you going through my phone without my permission. The reality of the situation is that yes, some men cheat but not all and even if I was, chances are, there’s not going to be any evidence on my phone. The moment I find out you were in my phone without my knowledge, the trust needed to build a beautiful and healthy relationship is gone out the window along with the relationship itself.

Let’s make something clear, I’m specifically talking to women right now. This is not to say that all women are insanely jealous or nosy because these are human traits, not gender traits. However, I’m only addressing women here because any man who feels the need to check up on his woman by snooping through her phone simply doesn’t deserve to be talked about. “Manhood” may be a socially constructed concept and all but seeing how we all live in this society, a man checking through his woman’s phone seems to be the exact opposite of “manly”.

At the end of the day, nothing good actually comes from going through your partners phone. Either you get the confirmation you were seeking and your relationship ends because of it or you’re proven wrong, find out your partner is the most honest and loyal person ever but the relationship still ends because they can’t trust you. Instead of looking through someone’s phone for reasons why it won’t work, look through their actions and deeds for reasons why it will work.

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