The Love Fallacy

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By: Zach Fulwood

From dating apps to constant social media advertisements of love, it often feels like if you aren’t in love with someone or pursuing love, you’re doing something wrong. It makes sense as to why you might feel this way because at the end of the day, we all want love at some point. Most human beings yearn for the affection of another person and having someone to share their fears and life goals with. It’s a natural want but it’s also only half of the story.

Don’t get me wrong. Love is a truly amazing thing and if you’re lucky enough to find it in this lifetime, congratulations and more power to you. However, love isn’t just butterflies in your stomach and romantic evenings. Love is and will always be much more complicated than that.

The truth is, love hurts just as much as it pleases and it takes just as much as it gives. When you make up your mind on going out and pursuing love, your probably envisioning all of the joys love brings while conveniently neglecting the downs. It’s not your fault though. No one goes into a relationship imagining any real problems occurring and they definitely don’t go in with an entire contingency plan already in place if something was to go wrong. This would obviously be the complete opposite of entering a relationship with an open mind.

Optimism usually sparks a relationship while reality often makes or breaks one. To pursue love and ultimately fall (or grow) in love with any hope of success, you must come to grips with the fact that the process will inevitably cause you some pain. After all, they don’t say the one you love has the power to hurt you the most for nothing.

Real love forces you to become vulnerable and that vulnerability opens yourself up for anything to happen. In love, someone is going to lie and arguments are going to happen. Someone is going to say something their going to regret and the annoyance of this person constantly being around is going to come up. Some of these will cause more issues than others but it’s a part of the growth process of love.

In order to obtain the love that you seek, you have to be willing to put your heart on the line. You have to be willing to push all your cards to the table. Love has never been a safe investment and your either going to sink or swim in it. The only way to avoid the pitfalls of love is to give your heart to no one and to be honest, that’s too lonely of a life for anybody to live.

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