Is Monogamy Still Worth It?

(Image by © Greg Hinsdale/Corbis)

By: Zach Fulwood

Would you ever consider having an open-relationship? Before you jump down my throat and claim that I’m just the typical male trying to have his cake and eat it too, hear me out. You don’t necessarily have to sleep with a bunch of different people while being in a relationship. You could simply entertain the idea of sleeping with a bunch of different people and developing meaningful, emotional connections with others outside of your relationship. You weren’t planning on getting married right this minute anyway. What’s the harm in continuing to explore your options even if it is a bit unconventional? Is it really even unconventional?

There are numerous books and studies that state that monogamy is actually a bad thing. Author of the popular book “The Monogamy Gap: Men, Love, and the Reality of Cheating”, Eric Anderson suggests that men who are in monogamous relationships are in fact, “sexually incarcerated.” Others have also looked at this issue from a broader perspective and have deduced that monogamy isn’t natural for men or for women. Basically, there’s not a species on this earth that is bound to the constraints of monogamy so why should humans have to be? We’re supposed to procreate.

This all sounds good in theory and if you’re a person whose sexual appetite is such to where one person just isn’t enough and you also enjoy developing countless emotional relationships with people, then this is the life for you. That being said, this life certainly isn’t for me and I feel pretty safe in saying it’s not for most people.

Let’s be real here. Although we’ve all been taught that sharing is caring, when it comes to the people that we’re dating, sharing is typically no longer an option unless you live in Utah. No one wants to share the person that their dating and emotionally investing time into with other people trying to do the same thing. They have a hard enough time sharing them with friends and family.

I know monogamy is hard and depending on who you talk to, there might be some merit to people only being as loyal as their options but nothing in life other than breathing is really supposed to be easy. There’s temptation everywhere and whether you’re married or single, that temptation will always be there. Being single isn’t a bad thing and exploring the dating field isn’t a crime against humanity. However, there’s something to be said about being settled and building a family with just one person who has your full and undivided love and affection.

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