By: Zach Fulwood
Believe it or not, you probably suck at dating. It’s okay though, every non-married person out there who is actively dating sucks at dating so, rest easy knowing that you’re not alone.
First off, let’s break down the idea of dating. No one dates a person they don’t see as a potential life partner. If your idea of dating is to spend time (sometimes romantically) with people who you know won’t be in your life past a certain point, your not dating them, your just hanging out with them. Though you never want to go into any relationship with the pressure of turning that person into your eventual spouse, the underlying reason for dating is to eventually be married or tied down.
That said, the process of finding that person is difficult and you’re probably not doing yourself any favors along the way.
When it comes to dating, there’s a number of reasons for why you suck at it but, there’s typically a few that we all share. One of the primary reasons your dating life hasn’t been ideal is because you don’t actually want to date. It sounds crazy, I know but, allow me to explain. You, like many others, have tried the dating thing time and time again and have failed repeatedly to the point where you despise the notion of trying again. That negative feeling towards dating has now caused you to either want to jump straight into a relationship and be married in less than six months or it’s made you so guarded that no one actually stands a chance of breaking down the barriers you’ve put up. Talk about a depressing existence.
There’s also the issue of simply being too picky and constantly believing that there’s better out there. Full disclosure, you should never settle in life and the last place you should settle is in love. That said, everything you need can very well show up in what you already have. Understand this, there will ALWAYS be someone who looks better than the person you’re with and if you’re personable enough, there will ALWAYS be someone who you can find great chemistry with. These aren’t hard traits to find. So, when it comes down to figuring out if this person is the right one for you, don’t let these two be the deciding factors because as long as you are breathing, there will be other people out there who will be able to provide these for you.
Then there’s the unfortunate reality that you just don’t know how to pick em’. Just because you can solve a Rubik’s Cube or answer three questions in a row on Jeopardy, while impressive, it doesn’t mean you know how to pick the right person to share the rest of your life with. Like most, you probably have a type and consistently go for people who fit into that type and consistently have to end the relationship shortly after. Basically, you date the same person, the same way over and over again hoping for a different result. That’s literally the definition of insanity but, also a telling reason as to why all of your relationships have failed up to this point.
Honestly, I don’t have the answers for your dating failures. That’s for you to figure out and for your sake, I hope you do. But, they say admitting you have a problem is the first step to recovery so, lets admit together that we suck at dating.